Complacency in worship

Over the last few months, I've had to catch myself from just 'going through the motions'.

What do I mean by that?

I mean it's real easy to do all the 'right' things - or more to the point look like you're doing all the 'right' things.

But really when it comes to worship - whether that be praying, singing, doing the dishes, cycling or taking the time to listen to a friend or client - there's someone who can always see what is in my heart. And it's what is going on inside of me in my heart, and in my mind that counts the most.

I've got to keep myself in check.

I know there are a few people that look to me as a worship leader. I realised this not actually from when I was leading from a platform or stage, but from people in my old church coming up to me and commenting (in an encouraging way) about having caught glimpses of me worshipping and communicating with God when I was in amongst the rest of the people gathered.

There are 3 instances that I particularly remember:

1. Very soon after I'd become a Christian and a friend commented that he often tuned into my singing if he was standing close by.

2. A time when to be honest I was feeling very very far from God, and really struggling with my faith. I was hurting really bad and in a very dark place. I'd been a Christian about a year, and this meeting partly praising God, and partly curled up on the floor crying out in desperation for God to come and intervene. So I was very taken aback to have a church leader I'd never spoken to before come up to me at lunch and say "I saw Jesus in you today"

3. A friend talking about how much he admired me for not caring what I looked like when I worshipped. He was referring to the fact that sometimes I ended up lying on the floor of the aisles at Sunday morning services. He thought I must be 'so full of the Holy Spirit', when in fact it was because I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and sometimes I had no energy to sit up from the effort it took to get to church. But I just wanted to be there. In fact, it was more tiredness than holiness that made me 'not care'.

And let me add another: recently my friends' five year old daughter made me a birthday booklet. To read, I could get one inflated ego! One of the things she wrote was "Laurie is a rockstar"

That was it, for the rest of the night I was all 'well, yeah, of course...I am a rockstar!'

But I got a little worried when I got told of a conversation on the way home when she said to her parents 'You know, Laurie is like a rockstar....especially when she sings at church'

That's when the alarm bells start to ring in my head.

When I sing from the front, or sing from the back...'looking cool' or 'looking spiritual' should never be the aim. In fact, thanks to Powerpoint (and a few weddings) I've now seen pictures of what I look like singing in worship. To be honest, I could have done without seeing them, because I think I look pretty weird in a number of photos.

I also realise that because I've been leading worship & doing backing vocals for a fair few years now, I've got pretty comfortable. Now I only do backing vocals and it's even easier to stick to my comfort zone & get complacent.

I heard a fantastic quote from Reuben Morgan a while ago, which made me shout 'AMEN BROTHER!' at my computer screen.

"I believe a worshipper is someone that grabs all the fragments and pieces of their life, brings it together and aims it 'bang' - straight at God"

-Reuben Morgan

So I'm reminded of Moses and the Burning Bush - that whole thing of entering the presence of God, taking off my shoes because I stand on holy ground. I'm reminded of people falling face down on the ground just by seeing a glimpse of God in all His glory. I'm reminded of people covering their heads, not as religious practice, but out of an act of humility. Bowing or kneeling as an act of reverence. King David, dancing and becoming 'even more undignified than this'.

In my mind, worship isn't something that 'just happens'. Real worship has to be a choice, something we do in honesty & humility, choosing over and over to actively try to glorify God in every part of our life.

Even when we think nobody is watching.

Because somebody (or being) always is.

How do we not get complacent in our worship to God?